I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
