My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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