Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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