You just made me feel so damn special
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
