All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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