also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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