If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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