you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
