nut hugger
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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