There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
