dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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