ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
