Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
