I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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