We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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