i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Don't tell me you're on acid again
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
