I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
