hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
