you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
