2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
