Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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