It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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