if you like me you must not know who I am
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
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