Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
