I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
