I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
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