My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
