thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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