The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
