I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
