is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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