I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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