made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
