Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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