Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
