I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
