Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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