What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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