Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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