their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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