Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
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