am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
