dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
