Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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