I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
