So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
