It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
