Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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