Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
