Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
