i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
