Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
