i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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