Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
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She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
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The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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