She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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