I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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