So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
