last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
