I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
