I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
either way he was missing a nipple.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
