For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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