dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
