i barfeds in our rink
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
