Is it because I queefed?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
